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It’s My Birthday?

2 years ago, I stopped caring for my birthday. I stopped expecting surprises. I stopped expecting gifts. I just stopped. I realized that a birthday is just the same as ordinary days, anything can happen within the 24 hour period. There’s actually nothing special to a birthday, you don’t celebrate the day you were born because it wasn’t in that specific date of the current year you were born. The simple number of 13 or 14 years old is nothing but a number, a counter really. I wonder why society made the day you were born as a counter. It can actually start in any day.

I’ve been reminded numerous times before my birthday. I actually even forgot it. Now October 29, 2013 was the ‘day’ I was born with 14 years of living and counting on. Today, I could not forget my birthday at all because everyone would keep saying ‘Happy Birthday!’, and everything time I’d have to reply ‘Thank You’ to at least have the decency.

I know typically a birthday is supposed to be happy but the whole day I felt like crying. I was extremely distracted. This caused me to fail 5 quizzes. I could not focus at all! It came to the point I wrote a lot of things on my arm. Things such as: Nothing, Don’t let it win, Hold on, Chained, To fall is to rise, and the biggest and the most prominent of all is the word focus. In the end, I broke down … in front of my classmates. Well, there goes trying to hide.

I was able to use volleyball as a distraction, which was great. Training finished at about 6:30 pm and I arrive home 7 pm. I came home alone thinking of the things I’d have to do soon: Re-write my soliloquy, find international news for news reporting, TLE blog questions, english script, blog post that has been delayed for too long. Yes, it’s always been on my mind and I’ve been doing my best to make time. Sadly, I end up too exhausted and pass out. As I had all those things on my mind I entered my room and saw this…20131029-232733.jpg

A new guitar! Something I’ve been asking for so long. I literally cried as I entered, it’s something that actually made my day. I’m so grateful for my parents. I know they don’t deserve a child like me but still they do their best to make me feel love. Sure, we argue a lot, I’m scared at home. This is just one of the rare moments I feel loved, and I treasure those memories.

Eventually, it changed my perspective. Maybe it’s okay to feel excited about your birthday. Maybe it’s okay to have hope that it’d be happy. Maybe I should give myself a chance as long as I don’t expect a lot.

Happy Birthday to those who are celebrating.
Happy Birthday to those who have yet to celebrate.
Happy Birthday to those who have celebrated.

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Enjoy, Love, and Be Free

The blinding lights that brighten up the stage. The heat from it that spreads to the body. October 26, 2013 was the day I preform in a stage, an official stage. It’s been almost 5 or 6 months since I’ve preformed in such environment. The nerve-racking chills, the excitement … everything I’ve surely missed. Heck, even the backstage room that’s extremely crowded. I can’t say that I haven’t preformed in a while but I can say that it’s been surely a long time for me to be off a stage like not just the simply stage or a forced stage. This stage was different from the recent performances, it was literally made for ballet.

The tiring practices to make the dance almost perfect, going home late, rushing from volleyball to ballet practice, skipping volleyball practice? All those are what I had to do to be able to preform the best as I can. The dance was even in pointe shoes! Thing is, I have weak ankles since I’ve sprained both already. I even discovered I had a hairline fracture on my right ankle after so many years. I wasn’t even aware until recently, but I did my best to improve. I do say that I did even the slightest, I am happy with that and I do hope I still continue to improve.

I admit that I do not love ballet enough to pursue it as a course but I like it enough that I enjoy it. Sometimes I can say that ballet is a way for me to express my feelings just like others would, maybe it’s just dance itself. I tell you now that I am not gifted with ballet yet I still continue it. I’ve been doing ballet since I was two and a half years old. Basically, I’ve been doing ballet for 11 or 12 years. It’s long I know but I am not flexible at all. Well, at least the ballet standards. Hahaha.

It doesn’t mean that if you aren’t gifted or talented in a specific act, it doesn’t mean you should stop. As I said, I am not gifted with performing ballet but I still do it, all you need is to enjoy, love, and be free. Don’t be degraded with talented people because they are a whole different level … but you are too. How? They come with natural talent while you come with hard work and patient. See my point now? Stop comparing yourself with others, stop thinking that it’s impossible because it isn’t. Don’t give up easily, especially if it’s something you love and enjoy.

I don’t let make-up, itchy costumes, and degrading people stop from doing what I enjoy. Surely, I had my time of planning to leave ballet but for some reason I didn’t. I stayed. Why? Who knows, not even I but for now all I know is that I enjoy ballet for the creativity and the chance to express. The only thing that can stop me improving  is time and money. Yes, ballet is extremely expensive especially when you get to a higher level because there are the pointe shoes which you have to buy every two to three months depending on the use. That’s hole in your wallet every two to three months.

Before I end this post, if you were given a chance to pursue something you love, don’t forget to thank those whom supported you: morally, physically and financially. The least you can do is show your best effort an thank them. That is what I’ve learned through my experience. I even remembered how on of my old teachers cried in front of class because last recital we forgot to thank her. So if you want that to avoid happening to you, do remember to thank them.

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I am so sorry for posting this late, I came home from the recital at 11 am. I had to then sleep early for I still had to wake up early to go to a friend’s house because of homework. Yes, this weekend has been extremely busy. What can I say? That’s my life. A busy life.

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Back On Track

Recently I’ve been slacking off. I am now asking for your forgiveness, it was just that the past few days has been … overwhelming for me. How? Let’s just say a lot has been going on and I’m trying to find ways to cope with it. I am hoping with this next post I’ll be able to be forgiven?

Here I go.

Through the continuation of my ‘Drama Marathon’, I can’t simply say that it was my only problem. Unfortunately, a friend of mine that I’ve met on twitter is currently fighting cancer. Her life was not easy, I’m sure about that. She has nearly died twice yet she miraculously revived each time, and on that same day, my guidance counselor told me that “Miracles happen”. I guess she was right all along, we are just too busy with the unnecessary to notice. Oh, and don’t ask me if waking up each day is a miracle because I, myself, has absolutely no idea what’s the answer to that.

Past few days, I’ve spent it thinking about things. I started being a lot more pessimistic that I was and I thought about a lot of self-harm. I know it’s bad, I’ve been trying not to do so but I just can’t stop. Thing is, when I think, everything because vivid. It’s like I’m there, present in my imagination. I feel what the person feels or I feel the emotions during the event. Yes, I am weird that way. I hope through the bits and pieces of information I’ve given spread out through my post, you’d be able to figure what type/kind of person I am. I also hope that you accept me for who I am not who I am not.

Being the pessimistic me, my life is a bit more complicated than others especially when it comes with my way of thinking. Maybe it’s just my perspective or maybe it’s true, we’ll never know.

With so much things happening, it all starts to overlap each other, it turns into something problematic. I admit that I was so close to giving up with recovery, I was so close to relapsing. But lucky enough, I was able to have this day to think. Now again I shall say, I’ll take it with baby steps, little by little, problem by problem, I will conquer it.

Have you ever felt the feeling of being changed or a change of perspective because of a book or movie? If not, you have yet to find it. For me it was the book “Perks Of Being A Wallflower” by Stephen Chbosky.  Perks, as everyone would refer it too, is a very unique book. It does not dwell on romance not like other famous books do, but dwells on another perspective of life. It dwells on a side that is usually hidden because majority of society will not be able to accept. It focuses on a story of a boy, hidden with a name, Charlie. Charlie is a person who’s past is not pleasant. The story revolves on his life as a freshmen. Though in the book nor movie, his past was never mention or describe perfectly but the feelings and the way it has affected him was shown and told. He meets friends who are seniors, Sam and Patrick. With the three of them together with other of their group of friends, it talks about their story. This particular story is very fascinating and very unique. I gladly give my thanks and respect for the author because he was able to write and publish a story with thoughts of it not being able to ‘click’ in the market. I highly recommend to those who have read my post up to this point. Watch it or read it, but I’d prefer you do both.

I’ve never watch the movie until now but it is one of the rare occasions wherein the movie is better than the book itself. Ezra Miller, who portrayed Patrick; Emma Watson, who depicted Sam; and Logan Lerman, who played the role of Charlie. They all embodied the characters very well, or so I may say. I didn’t even see Logan Lerman as ‘the popular actor’ but as Charlie, himself. There are lines from both the move and book that I will always remember:

These words made my heart ache, and it also made me remember words that I have forgotten. It no longer replays in my head but now a few more words have joined in.

With this I can truly say the book and movie of “Perks of Being  Wallflower” by Stephen Chbosky has changed me in various ways. This book has changed my perspective in life and has given me hope again, the same hope that I’ve lost but only now greater. I’ll do my best to keep this hope as I continue with my road of recovery that I promise. The road of recovery is very difficult and excruciating but I know it will be worth it.

More Reference:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Perks_of_Being_a_Wallflower
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Perks_of_Being_a_Wallflower_(film)

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It’s Been A While Since

Given the chance to perform in front of absolute stages, would you take it?

Me? No.

I was given (forcefully forced into doing such without given an option) a chance to preform in front of absolute strangers.

One word. Embarrassing.

I haven’t really taken the chance to let you know a little bit of me other than my problems, I am so sorry for that. For now all you need to know is that, I am a wanna be writer who does volleyball and ballet. Yes, volleyball and ballet. Two opposite things but that’s what I do. Many of my friends and the people I know make fun of me by saying that I do “balletball”. See the relation? Ballet + Volleyball. One that does both at the same time.

Anyways, going back to the point. I had to dance in front of strangers in a mall. Changing into costume and putting on make up (I hate make-up with the exception of eyeliner and mascara) in simple 30 mins. We were all rushing because the principal refused to excuse us from class. Yes, it was very annoying and stressful.

Though through the stress and annoyance still we pushed through. For 12 or 13 years of dancing, I know it’s a long time. There are times I’ve asked myself “Why haven’t I stopped?”. After a long break of preforming on stage, its actually a feeling that I missed.

My palms sweating, my heart raising, excitement and nervousness overwhelm my emotions. Oh god, let me tell you the bloopers we have onstage! Hahaha. Yes, while preforming on stage my friends and I talk. We laugh and curse, mostly because of our mistakes.

At the end of the day it was fun. We got free food from the school and my parents and I ate out! Oh, and I also bought two albums 🙂

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It’s Been A While Since

Given the chance to perform in front of absolute stages, would you take it?

Me? No.

I was given (forcefully forced into doing such without given an option) a chance to preform in front of absolute strangers.

One word. Embarrassing.

I haven’t really taken the chance to let you know a little bit of me other than my problems, I am so sorry for that. For now all you need to know is that, I am a wanna be writer who does volleyball and ballet. Yes, volleyball and ballet. Two opposite things but that’s what I do. Many of my friends and the people I know make fun of me by saying that I do “balletball”. See the relation? Ballet + Volleyball. One that does both at the same time.

Anyways, going back to the point. I had to dance in front of strangers in a mall. Changing into costume and putting on make up (I hate make-up with the exception of eyeliner and mascara) in simple 30 mins. We were all rushing because the principal refused to excuse us from class. Yes, it was very annoying and stressful.

Though through the stress and annoyance still we pushed through. For 12 or 13 years of dancing, I know it’s a long time. There are times I’ve asked myself “Why haven’t I stopped?”. After a long break of preforming on stage, its actually a feeling that I missed.

My palms sweating, my heart raising, excitement and nervousness overwhelm my emotions. Oh god, let me tell you the bloopers we have onstage! Hahaha. Yes, while preforming on stage my friends and I talk. We laugh and curse, mostly because of our mistakes.

At the end of the day it was fun. We got free food from the school and my parents and I ate out! Oh, and I also bought two albums 🙂

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Maybe’s in Life

Life’s filled with so much maybe, indefinitely really. It doesn’t matter if it’s bad or good because it’s applicable. Who knew that one would be depressed? One day those little kids you see laughing and smiling, they might commit suicide, self harm, anorexic, bulimia, have a PTSD, or become depressed. Life’s unpredictable, and it’s better to be left that way.  I know it may not make any sense but life’s complicated enough, why bother to make it more complicated that it is? Messing with it will just fuck everything up more. That is why life should be left alone as it is.

Look around, you see people dying, diseases spreading to a greater extent. We may live in a world filled with technological advancements but don’t the disease which we’ve learned to treat become worse? What happens when we’ve advanced so much that things get worse and we stopped advancing. Look at the options and the consequences. Oh and about cloning? Don’t get me started with that bullshit. People die for a reason and that is to give way for new life. That is the sad and harsh reality. Tip? Learn to accept it. I will not sugar-coat my words because I can predict that all of you must be educated enough to realize why. If you refuse this information, sooner or later reality will sink in. If one will pursue cloning, won’t we just break the cycle of this world. Think about it. The world will become over populated as it is already.

Have you ever wondered that maybe our search for curiosity, for knowledge, is too much? That maybe it is overwhelming? Shouldn’t we take these things with baby steps. The world is perfect but what we’re doing is destroying it. One day, we will be the cause for humanities extinction. I have a really good feeling on it and I trust my gut. My gut has saved me many times, though I know it is wrong but it has also made some of the good choices I do in life.

Let’s be honest, the maybe’s saved our skin from time to time. It prepares us physically and mentally what to expect. It gives us a chance to imagine and somewhat predict the outcome. Though we all know that the future is very unstable, the decisions we make will affect it.

I once had a talk with a friend. Thing is, that friend of mine has an issue when setting goals. Once she sets goals for her self, those becomes her mind set. She starts to think that she has to achieve it. I explained her that, we may have goals, regardless if it were permanently or temporary. But the decisions, path, or way we choose will differ. These goals are connected with infinite strings which we can choose from. We get to choose the option of how to go about it, how to achieve it. It’s all in the matter choice.

Just remember life is filled with infinite maybe’s and most of the times these maybe’s may save our skins … or destroy us.

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Bringing Her Back (Complete)

#1 Out of Reach

 

I know a little girl who’s lost her light. She might never make it home tonight. I remember how happy she’d be before. She loves to bring joy to others, she still does, but this time it’s different, it doesn’t  make her as happy as it used to. Slowly, I watched her isolate herself, slowly I see this little girl I know become someone I knew. I tried to bring her back but I couldn’t. Its like one day she just started disappearing; like she’s looking for something that she can’t find. I’ve always wondered what happened? No one notices the change. She’d keep her walls up and front strong. She’d smile like nothing was wrong but I know that every time she’d be alone her walls would go down and her true feelings would show. One day I caught her off guard and then I slowly approached her, only to discover how fast she could recover – as if she never removed the mask. This was the day I’ve become curious about her. I watched her from a distance and see her interact with other people; no one sees through her walls but…. me. I wonder why? Why me?

 

Through the months, I slowly started to bring her back. I wanted to free her so badly from this pain. A pain which I never knew where it came from. No one deserves to be suffering through such pain alone, maybe this is the reason why I was the only one who seemed to notice. Slowly, she was coming back. She was becoming the girl I know. But one day, everything fell apart. She started avoiding me again, she stared making up excuses. I’d notice she’d stop eating and she’d be distracted….. Just like before. I started worrying again. Compared to before and now, she’s worse. She started getting thinner, then she’d always be feeling dizzy. She was pale, and the black under her eyes were prominent. This time I have to talk to her,but when?


I’ve found the perfect timing and I approached her. She was startled at my sudden appearance. Just for a second there her eyes showed panic and fright. What does that mean? 

I told her “We need to talk”.

 “Oh shit. I forgot I gotta cram my project. Bye.” She replied. In her rush she never noticed that a small purple notebook fell…

 

#2 The Notebook

 

I tried to catch up with her, even called after her, she kept on going. In my hand was a small purple notebook, it looked old that’s for sure. I was at war with myself, I asked myself should I open her notebook or not. I debated but in the end I chose to open and read it. This is for me to know what’s been bothering her so it’s a good thing, right?

 

I opened her notebook and skimmed through it. Her notebook was filled with writings, most were almost finished except for a few pages at the back. Everything was written with blank ink and sometimes there would be smudges. Tears? After minutes of skimming through her notebook something in particular caught my mind. Red! A poem in red ink:

“Everyday I dread to wake

Because I know my demons would wait.

They are there morning ’till night.

There is no peace I can find. 

 

I know I can never tell anyone

Because what right do I have to share

My demons that haunt me there

My demons that follow me everywhere

 

I know I am in this alone

Because I know I need to be taught

For my fault is my fault

Yet I know I need support

 

I will never be able to trust someone

After what he has done

He tore me from limb to limb

And kicked me to the brim

 

I can never be perfect again

All I can do is write perfection with a pen

I’ve given up on reason

I am now on depletion

 

I am shattered to pieces

And my hope decreases

As time passes by

All I can do is sigh

 

Soon I know I am at my limit

Maybe that is my ticket

To the peace I’ve always wanted

To the peace that’s always been my target”

I felt my eyes well up with tears after reading her poem. And there was more poems similar to this one but she was never specific. I never knew she was going through so much pain, it was overwhelming. This made me read her notebook more, then I finally found out what her demons were…

 

#3 Avoidance

After I read her notebook, I kept it for a few weeks. Arguing with myself, “Should I tell her I read it or not? What should I do?” Finally I got the courage to return it to her…

 

I returned it first thing in the morning when I first arrived in school. I remebered her reaction, shock and panic. And she said “So now you have an idea what I’m going through?”. “What? Are you saying that I read it?” I replied in panic. “Who wouldn’t read a random journal that was on the floor?” Damn, she’s right there but as usual I lied “Me?”. She said “Whatever” as she grabbed her notebook from my hands and walked heading to her next class. “I’m sorry okay, I couldn’t help it!” I screamed but she ignored it as everyone stared at me….

 

The rest of the day was spent with her avoiding me. I went to every class she would be in as I can, but everytime her classmates would say “I saw her rushing out first thing.” Or something similar. During lunch I couldn’t find her at all, even at places we would eat before or whatever. I don’t know how she did it but, damn, she can hide. By the end of the day I failed to find her at all; all I did was sigh and told myself there would be tomorrow. I just hope she wouldn’t blame herself….

 

#4 Don’t Feel Sorry

The next day I still continued my search. Finally, during lunch she showed herself. It was a humid day and the fog was everywhere, I saw her sitting on the bleachers outside, all alone staring off at the distance. Like she was waiting for me, was she ready to talk to me?

 

I sat down beside her and she said “People said you were looking for me.” but she just continued staring dazedly. “Yeah I just wanted to apologize for going through your notebook”

 

“Don’t apologize, it was my fault I was too careless.”

 

“It wasn’t!”

 

“It’s okay. I should’ve just been more cautious around you because I already knew that you started noticing. I should’ve just-”

 

“Please just stop. Why do you need to be cautious?”

 

“Because no one deserves to bare the weight I have.”

 

“So what?” I shouted.

 

“So what? So what! You don’t know what I’ve gone through! I’ve made a mistake on trusting someone and in the end I was left broken and alone! So shut up because you don’t know what I’ve gone through!”

 

That was when she finally faced me with eyes full of sorrow, regret and anger. She was breathing heavily as she finished. What have I done? I asked myself but all I said was….

 

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean-”

 

“I know you never did its just a natural thing we humans do. We do things majority because of curiosity and instinct. And please don’t feel sorry. Don’t ever feel sorry…”

 

#5 Drowning

We both stared off the distance, both of us deep in thought. No one spoke, until I broke the silence.

 

“What happened before?”

 

“You don’t need to know. It is unnecessary information.”

 

“But-”

 

“But nothing. Can’t you see I’m saving you from shit that can drown you.”

 

“Doesn’t it drown you too?”

 

“Yeah it does but I know I deserve this.”

 

“Why do you deserve this?”

 

“Again I will repeat. You don’t need to know.”

 

“Don’t you think its time to let it out.”

 

She sighed heavily.

 

“No. I’ve learned my lesson.”

 

She stood up and walked away. “See you around I guess…” she said as she walked away. “Yeah. See you around.” I simply replied and was left dumb-founded. I started to wonder what happen to her past. Who was this guy she talked about…

 

#6 Regrets

Ever since that day we’ve hung out, you know the usually small talks and a few random moments. Maybe this was something that could bring us closer again, maybe she’d tell me eventually… Maybe, that’s all I can say. One day she asked me…

 

“Do you have any regrets?”

 

“Ummm yeah, I guess…”

 

“Like what?”

 

“I don’t really know. Maybe like studying hard enough for a quiz and little stuff like that.”

 

“Oh.”

 

I know my regrets may be small but it is still that, a regret. Silence deafened us. I wonder so bad what she was thinking. I tried to break the silence and asked her.

 

“How about you?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“What are your regrets?”

 

I heard her sigh heavily. I immediately regretted saying that after it came out of my mouth. It was too personal, I knew it. Dammit, why couldn’t I just stick to the awkward silence. But then my thoughts were broken by her words.

 

“Well…. ummm… it all started when I gave my trust away. I was foolish to do so but I did it and I’m stuck here.”

 

“Why do you say it was foolish?”

 

“Because I was left alone and fragile. He left me.”

 

I saw her eyes starting to water, then the tears left her eyes streaming down her face. She wiped her tears away and all I did try and comfort her; I hugged her in attempt to comfort her. I wish it did, I really wish it did.

 

#7 Opening Up

I tried to be more understanding because I knew, deep down, I want to be able to help her. Slowly with a bit of pressure I was able to let her tell me. Finally she told me everything.

 

“Who is this guy?”

 

“Do you really need to know?”

 

“Yes because I really want to help you.”

 

“You do know you won’t be able to help me, right?” She said as she sighed heavily.

 

“But letting it out would help, you know?”

 

“Maybe… but who knows.”

 

“You’ll know once you try, right.”

 

I didn’t even bother to make it a question. I wanted her to know how much I wanted to help her.

 

“But…” She replied.

 

“Please just try.”

 

And finally she spoke what I’ve always wanted to hear. She sighed heavily as she said…

 

“Fine. In my old school I had a group friends. We were close, we weren’t just friends anymore, we were family. We were happy, really happy but slowly problems started to occur. Soon enough, each of us fell into the despicable world that’s hard to get out of. Some started drugs, some became anorexic, some just looked dead already. We tried our best to help out one another and relieve the pain, but I guess it was too much. Eventually everyone else disappeared. Gone from this cruel world we live in. I am the only one left…”

 

As those words left her mouth, she did not cry, she did not do anything but tense up. I know it was something horrifying to remember but I’m glad after all these months of bugging she finally opened up.

 

#8 Empty Promises

“Who is this guy?” Oh shit. It’s too early to ask her such thing since she just opened up. But , argh, I started already might as well continue. “Ummm…you know the guy you mentioned in your notebook….”

 

“Oh him….. Well, errr…” She said nervously.

 

“Oh you don’t need to answer that, just nevermind me.” I said nervously as an attempt to take what I said back.

 

“Nah, it’s fine. Maybe it’s time to finally get this shit over with, huh?”

 

“I guess.”

 

“Well, his name is Jake, he used to be my best friend and my “soul-mate”. It was always me and him against the world, or at least that used to be us. When I first met him, we were both happy but the older we got, problems became over-whelming. His parents started to fight, a lot, they were drug addicts and alcoholics too. Then later everything became too much for him, he became depressed. Thank fucking god I was there to help him… or was. He even started cutting, using drugs too. I tried my best to stop him, I tried…… but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t fucking enough. During that time all my other friends were going through almost the same thing. One by one I saw them cry, one by one I saw them hurt themselves, one by one I saw them disappear from within my grasps. Soon he followed.

 

We used to fantasize the future we would have together. The memories we’d make too, but everything disappeared when he did. He promised me we’d stay together, he promised me he’d stay strong, he promised me he’ll never leave me! But I guess he never did mean any of that, they were just empty promises. Do you know how hard it is to lose someone who was your one true happiness? Do you know how painful it is to see everyone close to you die? Do you know how much want I want to kill myself everyday just because I deserve it?”

 

“Why do you think you deserve such thing?” I had to cut her short. She doesn’t even deserve to die.

 

“Because I couldn’t do anything to help them, I couldn’t fucking save them! Being left alone is fucking scary, attending everyone’s funeral was so painful. I fucking miss them; their voices, their laughters, the stories they told, their faces, their touch, everything. They left me alone, to fend for myself. Everyday people before would ask me questions like “Are you okay?” No! I am not fucking okay, do you think I am?! Losing everyone whom you cared and loved for, losing everyone who was important to you, seeing their dead bodies in coffins; lifeless and cold. Why the fuck do they even ask?! Why do people have to be cruel, why does life have to be a bitch.”

 

She breathed heavily after saying that. I never knew it was so much, I never knew she had so much weight on her shoulders. Her tears streaked her face, it was too traumatizing for her. And now I ask the same question she asked. Why does life have to kill someone so innocent? Why does it have to be bitch?

 

#9 Happy Place

That was something I never forget, something I never regretted asking. That was the start of our friendship, we eventually became best friends. I hope I helped her, you know, to at least lessen the weight. But now she’s in a happy place, somewhere safe and peaceful. She’s finally reunited with her friends, they could have bonding time again. But I haven’t brought her back. Don’t worry I will soon, just wait and see.

 

I am in my room standing on my bed. I place the rope around my neck as I look through my window. It was midnight, everything so calm and quiet. I can even see the moon shining brightly, I knew it was her calling me. I whispered to myself “Don’t worry I’m coming.” I heard her voice at the back of my head saying “Okay, okay I will just be waiting.” I don’t want to prolong her wait because I too am impatient, I take my jump and I see my happy place.

 

I see her smiling at me, others behind her. They must be her friends. They all welcomed me with open arms.  And, finally, I have achieved bringing her back to her happy place.

 

THE END.

 

NOTES:

 Edited by Megan. (Thank god), and Gravy (Part 1&2)