In school we have an activity called STD. No, it is does not stand for sexually transmitted disease, but it stands for Student-Teacher Day. I was one of the lucky chosen students to participate with this activity, but not as a student but as a guidance counselor. Yes, I suddenly graduated with a degree in psychology. At first I was astounded for I know that I was not fit for such position. Sure, I would try and help out others as best as I could with their personal problems, but me – a guidance counselor for the batch, wouldn’t it be too awkward to start it off. In the end, I accepted the offer and now I sit here in her office, typing this post away. I could say this is a counseling report of some sort to whatever they do after every counseling. But I just want to this as a way to express my reflections and understanding with the people I spoke with.
The day started out with me accompanying a friend of mine, thank god, to this talk called “Big Sister, Little Sister”. It is where a high school student will talk to the newbies of the department. They usually talk about the hardships of high school and how to deal with it. Sometimes they would also share experiences with them especially when it comes to cramming. A few examples of situations would be: sleepless nights, cramming, grades, social life and etc. Well we also ended up talking about the endless rainbow slips given to us when done a specific action on repeatedly. I’m serious though, we got a blue slip, green slip, pink slip, brown slip, and other colorful slips I don’t remember or bother to know.
Now time for me to start the long and fascinating. In total I spoke to 6 people, except 2 of them were simply a talk about a script about bullying. Basically I spoke to 4 people, seriously. The names mentioned below are not real names, they are simply made up for the sake for keeping their identity hidden.
- Jenny. Jenny’s parents are currently separated, not divorced because there is no court evidence. She had no easy life nor did her younger brother. Both were verbally abused by their guardian while their father was away in some other country with a mistress. It is said that she even has a step-brother from the mistress that’s 2 years older than her. But you know what? She is proof that things do get better, if not they would eventually get better. I actually told her myself that “Wow, Jenny. I’m happy that you’re actually happy now.” which is true. She did not deserve to be treated that way, and it was great that she spoke out.
- Alice. Alice is a good friend of mine. We got close last school year when started talking about problems, together with another friend. We both have our share of misery and problems, and we try our best to help each other out. Recently, I haven’t been able to talk to her because we both have other friends to worry about but it was great that we took an hour to actually check up on each other. She is one of the people who actually knows my past, not detailed but the whole idea. But I figured that, I’ve been telling her so much, sharing her too much, doesn’t she also have a limit? She is human too, you know. We humans can keep a secret but having others secrets for too long can be overwhelming and can affect one’s self, that is when someone reaches one’s limit. We also spoke of so much more but we both conclude that life is shitty and cruel, and that we both hate people in general.
- Ira. With her, I can say that we aren’t that close but she is my friend. I saw her one day talking to the guidance counselor, that’s when I started to worry. I used this time to be able to speak with her… that’s when she told me that she has family problems, and she’s afraid of a teacher. I won’t say why because I think it’s too personal but I somewhat understand especially with her family problems. It’s hard to get by but it’s great that she told someone who can actually help her. Hopefully, it would and will continue to do so. She is a reminder that life is fucking hard and lots of shits happen in life.
- Lily. She was the last girl I spoke too, we aren’t that close and I guess she may be a friend but I think of her more of an acquaintance. For a quite a while, she is fascinating to me. She’s … well, quite … different. She is temporarily diagnosed to the multi-personality disorder and I do believe that it seems like so. She has spoken to a psychologist that is also an administrator in the school, she was the one who did so. All I can say is that we had an interesting talk, she was someone whom I can talk about my ideas that normally a person would reject. It was refreshing, and I felt relieved. It’s been a while since I had a conversation like that and boy did I miss the feeling. She claims to have three personalities, when I believe that a person normally has two. She can have and preferably two or three personalities awake rather than a normal person would have one. She even told me a story and I told her to repeat 3 times, none of them had the exact same idea but only similar with a slight twist. Do not compare such thing with mood swings for it is something different. I spoke furthermore on her case with the guidance counselor and she explained that she has not met her chosen identity. Usually, one personality would out shown the rest and that same personality would develop. But with her case, she has not chosen a specific personality and therefore making her develop all three at the same time. This may be the cause of what her parents has done. The only suggestion I have for her is to speak with a psychologist who’s not traditional but someone who can be flexible and imaginative. He or she must stretch the bounds of realism but must also remember to come back. I can describe her somewhat similar to mine but she is someone ‘worse’ that I.
I’m a utmost grateful to my guidance counselor that I was given a chance to speak to people like them. The people above are part of rooms that find it extremely hard to open up, but I am actually part of those rooms. Though the guidance counselor suggested I’d talk to people from other rooms, strangers basically. I refused to because I had one goal, and that was to help my fellow classmates. There were many more, many, many more that I’d love to talk too but I just had so little time. But if given a chance to do the same thing, I’d say yes right away. This is one unforgettable experience and a refresher for I. It also more or less helped me a way, which is great.