A Gamble with Honesty

I know I haven’t been posting, “posting” — like blogging and all that. I’ve just been posting poems. I told you guys that my old posting schedule will go back…. Sadly, it hasn’t. I thought my busy schedule will come to an end or at least lessen. As you can see, it has not. With homeworks, cramming, more drama, and this terrible cold I have that’s making my world spin and make me fell like shit. Yes, my life has been extremely busy. But over the past few days, I’ve gotten topics that I’d like to share but take note: it’s only my opinion. To start it off I would gladly love to talk about honesty.

Well my guidance counselor and I have an unusual connection. I know it seems weird that I’m close to such person but I guess it’s because she gives me answers and made me realize or at least help me to realize such things. These past few days the ‘drama’ became “THE drama“. It’s become bigger, extremely gigantic. From one major problem, another arose. Nothing will stay the same, ever. That’s what I’ve learned, no matter how much you try to keep it same or how much will power you have to keep it stable.

Recently, I’ve got a friend. She was on the road to recovery. Take note: she was. I thought ‘Hey, she’s doing great. I hope nothing makes her relapse.”. Guess what? She did, terribly. Her cutting turned out worse than before. She even started cutting on her arms. She’s never done it because she always meant to hide it. I guess it was mainly because she’s lost her ‘home‘.

Home isn’t your typical house, it’s something much more. It’s somewhere you feel safe, protected, and most importantly, calm. Home can be a place, an item, or even a person. My home is with my best friend, while hers is her so called ‘older sister’. Let’s name this ‘older sister’ of hers as Aimee.

Sadly, because of some complicated reason Aimee and my friend stopped talking, their situation is not normal and should be kept hidden. Basically, my friend lost her special person. We all know that we have friends, close friends, best friends and sometimes, some people separate their best friend from this ‘special person’. Only such person knows everything. Only that person is your automatic first person. I bet it was hard on her, then her parents started becoming a problem too. Even some of her friends started avoiding her. Sadly, I will admit that I am one of them. I have my own reasons, I will never leave a friend for no apparent reasons.

With her situation becoming terribly worse to extremely bad. She’s already overdose twice and luckily failed. I did my best and gave her more reasons to stay. All I aimed for her is to have second thoughts. She’s also starting to notice how some of her friends started leaving. My guidance counselor, whom is very well aware of her situation, suggested we tell her why her friends are leaving. Maybe some would not agree, other would do other wise yet I still pushed through with it. We had a heart to heart talk to each other, it was very awkward at first but we got through hat barrier. Luckily, she was mature enough to accept what our say of her. Now we are still friends but will repair our friendship little by little.

Sometimes situations and circumstances can be hard and complicated but most times honesty can help the situation yet it can also worsen it. It’s like a gamble that you must take because most times staying safe doesn’t get you anywhere. But in the end, everything would depend if both parties will deal with it maturely and in a civil manner. It doesn’t hurt to observe.


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